As my girl friends and I woke up this morning after a long new years eve of champagne and dancing, we started the usual morning recap. What boy or bottle of booze we think we kissed at midnight, why we couldn't seem to find each other anyway in the bar for an hour, and how we managed to get home in one piece. And of course, looking at our Instagrams and Twitters to see if we posted something embarrassing, or if one of friends did. As we each scrolled through, I saw a post from one of my friends on her Instagram captioned "New Year, Who Dis?". And for some very odd, yet captivating reason, it struck a chord with me.
Though it was really just a play on the memes we all see on Twitter or Facebook or whatever social media platform you fancy, that reads "New phone who dis?", it gave me hope for a new year. A new start.
2015 was an interesting year for me. It started with me being a junior in college, and having nervous breakdowns about my future at least once a week whether they be out loud in just in my head. I questioned myself and where I was going in life a lot in the beginning of the year. I thought I picked the wrong major, the wrong school, and I was pursuing the wrong life. I also decided to let myself fall for boys that were not the best for me, which took me down a really strange path. Life started to become twisted and tangled and though I wasn't unhappy, I wasn't happy. I was confused and letting myself be whoever seemed right in the moment. And that isn't me. After that whirlwind of emotions and heart break, summer came. I scored an internship I really wanted and worked hard to get. Life seemed to be back on track. Boy was I wrong. The week after the spring semester ended I was diagnosed with mono. After a week of trying to battle it at home, I found my breaking point. My parents rushed me to the hospital one afternoon and from there I was hospitalized for a week. I couldn't talk or move, I could barely breathe, and I hadn't eaten for than a cracker a day in over a week. After a terrible a week, I was released but I still felt horrible. I had no energy and still was taking a insane amount of meds. Though I got to return to my internship, I still had no energy and had a force myself out of bed. Thankfully my internship was one of the best experiences I could have had. I found a lot of passion and reward in my work, and fell in love with the non-profit sector. The summer that started horribly ended up giving me just what I needed. I found myself again, and was able to focus all my energy on things that made me happy and things that built me up. I did my best to take that positive energy into this the fall semester. And boy did I need that positive energy. I was taking the most difficult classes of my college career, balancing sorority life and other organization obligations I had. I chose to become extremely involved my junior year which started to bite me in the butt this past semester. I also decided again that I wanted to mess around with boys who were less than perfect for me, which only ended in heart break and anger. However after a long talk with my best friend, I think I finally am at a good place boy and life wise. I ended the semester feeling happy, full of life, and ready to take on the new year.
Which brings us to present day, to the new year. 2016 is going to extremely different than my other 21 years on this earth. I am graduating college in May, moving out of a town I called home for four years, leaving my best friends, and transitioning into a life I am honestly a little afraid for. College has brought me so much happiness and irreplaceable memories and experiences. I have grown so much as a person, and found my center. I discovered what makes me happy and what builds me up. And by finding that I was able to instill those some passions and empower other around me. 2015 made me realize a lot about people and how they choose to treat others and they their lives. I found that even though I am a very passionate person who constantly wants to share my passions with others, some people do not function on my same frequency. I've also found that people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves. It was really difficult for me to realize and accept that, but this past year helped me find the peace to. I for so many years allowed people who didn't care about me the way I cared about them to take up room in my heart, and allowed my relationships with them to weigh on me, but for what? To be pulled down? These people mimicked my self love and made a joke of how passionate I was about life because they couldn't meet themselves as deeply as I have met myself. In 2016, I am not allowing these people to take up room in my heart. No one should settle for half assed relationships with people who are selfish and cannot see the worth of your relationship with them. Self empowerment isn't only about loving yourself, but being able to recognize when the people you're surrounding yourself with are toxic, and then removing them from your life. So whenever those people try to come back into your life, just hit them with "New Year, Who Dis?"
Though it was really just a play on the memes we all see on Twitter or Facebook or whatever social media platform you fancy, that reads "New phone who dis?", it gave me hope for a new year. A new start.
2015 was an interesting year for me. It started with me being a junior in college, and having nervous breakdowns about my future at least once a week whether they be out loud in just in my head. I questioned myself and where I was going in life a lot in the beginning of the year. I thought I picked the wrong major, the wrong school, and I was pursuing the wrong life. I also decided to let myself fall for boys that were not the best for me, which took me down a really strange path. Life started to become twisted and tangled and though I wasn't unhappy, I wasn't happy. I was confused and letting myself be whoever seemed right in the moment. And that isn't me. After that whirlwind of emotions and heart break, summer came. I scored an internship I really wanted and worked hard to get. Life seemed to be back on track. Boy was I wrong. The week after the spring semester ended I was diagnosed with mono. After a week of trying to battle it at home, I found my breaking point. My parents rushed me to the hospital one afternoon and from there I was hospitalized for a week. I couldn't talk or move, I could barely breathe, and I hadn't eaten for than a cracker a day in over a week. After a terrible a week, I was released but I still felt horrible. I had no energy and still was taking a insane amount of meds. Though I got to return to my internship, I still had no energy and had a force myself out of bed. Thankfully my internship was one of the best experiences I could have had. I found a lot of passion and reward in my work, and fell in love with the non-profit sector. The summer that started horribly ended up giving me just what I needed. I found myself again, and was able to focus all my energy on things that made me happy and things that built me up. I did my best to take that positive energy into this the fall semester. And boy did I need that positive energy. I was taking the most difficult classes of my college career, balancing sorority life and other organization obligations I had. I chose to become extremely involved my junior year which started to bite me in the butt this past semester. I also decided again that I wanted to mess around with boys who were less than perfect for me, which only ended in heart break and anger. However after a long talk with my best friend, I think I finally am at a good place boy and life wise. I ended the semester feeling happy, full of life, and ready to take on the new year.
Which brings us to present day, to the new year. 2016 is going to extremely different than my other 21 years on this earth. I am graduating college in May, moving out of a town I called home for four years, leaving my best friends, and transitioning into a life I am honestly a little afraid for. College has brought me so much happiness and irreplaceable memories and experiences. I have grown so much as a person, and found my center. I discovered what makes me happy and what builds me up. And by finding that I was able to instill those some passions and empower other around me. 2015 made me realize a lot about people and how they choose to treat others and they their lives. I found that even though I am a very passionate person who constantly wants to share my passions with others, some people do not function on my same frequency. I've also found that people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves. It was really difficult for me to realize and accept that, but this past year helped me find the peace to. I for so many years allowed people who didn't care about me the way I cared about them to take up room in my heart, and allowed my relationships with them to weigh on me, but for what? To be pulled down? These people mimicked my self love and made a joke of how passionate I was about life because they couldn't meet themselves as deeply as I have met myself. In 2016, I am not allowing these people to take up room in my heart. No one should settle for half assed relationships with people who are selfish and cannot see the worth of your relationship with them. Self empowerment isn't only about loving yourself, but being able to recognize when the people you're surrounding yourself with are toxic, and then removing them from your life. So whenever those people try to come back into your life, just hit them with "New Year, Who Dis?"